on wednesday morning i am going to the doctor
and they are going to tell me what is wrong with me
but i already know
but i am scared to hear it
but i am scared to say it
i am scared to be it
i'm scaaaaaaared :(

Info
[] I am shorter than 5'4
[x] I think I'm ugly sometimes.
[] I have many scars.
[x] I tan easily.
[x] I wish my hair was a different color.
[x] I have friends who have never seen my natural hair colour.
[] I have a tattoo.
[x]I am self-conscious about my appearance.
[x] I have/I've had braces.
[] I wear glasses.
[x] I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar-free.
[] I've been told I'm attractive by a complete stranger.
[x] I have more than 2 piercing.
[x] I have piercing in places besides my ears.
[x-a few] I have freckles.

Family/Home Life
[x] I've sworn at my parents.
[] I've run away from home.
[] I've been kicked out of the house.
[x] My biological parents are together.
[] I have a sibling less than one year old.
[] I want to have kids someday.
[] I've had children.
[] I've lost a child.

School/Work
[x] I'm in school
[] I have a job
[x] I've fallen asleep at work/school.
[x] I almost always do my homework.
[x] I've missed a week or more of school.
[] I've been on the Honor Roll within the last 2 years.
[] I failed more than 1 class last year
[] I've stolen something from my job
[] I've been fired

Embarrassment
[x] I've slipped out an "lol" in a spoken conversation.
[x] Disney movies still make me cry.
[x] I've snorted while laughing
[x] I've laughed so hard I've cried.
[] I've glued my hand to something.
[] I've had my pants rip in public.

Health
[x] I was born with a disease/impairment
[] I've gotten stitches/staples
[] I've broken a bone.
[] I've had my tonsils removed.
[x-doesfamilymembercount?] I've sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.
[] I've had my wisdom teeth removed.
[] I had a serious surgery.
[x] I've had chicken pox.

Traveling
[] I've driven over 200 miles in one day.
[x] I've been on a plane.
[] I've been to Canada.
[] I've been to Mexico.
[] I've been to Niagara Falls.
[] I've been to Japan.
[] I've celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans.
[x] I've been to Europe.
[] I've been to Africa.

Experiences
[x] I've gotten lost in my city.
[x] I've seen a shooting star.
[x] I've wished on a shooting star.
[] I've seen a meteor shower.
[x] I've gone out in public in my pajamas.
[x] I've pushed all the buttons on an elevator.
[x] I've kicked a guy where it hurts.
[] I've been to a casino.
[] I've been skydiving.
[x] I've gone skinny dipping.
[x] I've played spin the bottle.
[] I've drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour.
[] I've crashed a car.
[x] I've been Skiing.
[x] I've been in a play.
[] I've met someone in person from myspace.
[x] I've caught a snowflake on my tongue.
[] I've seen the Northern lights.
[x] I've sat on a roof top at night.
[x] I've played chicken.
[x] I've played a prank on someone.
[x] I've ridden in a taxi.
[x] I've seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show.
[x] I've eaten sushi.
[] I've been snowboarding.

Relationships
[x] I'm single.
[] I'm in a relationship.
[] I'm engaged.
[] I'm married.
[] I've gone on a blind date.
[] I've been the dumped more than the dumper.
[x] I miss someone right now.
[] I have a fear of abandonment.
[] I've gotten divorced.
[x] I've had feelings for someone who didn't have them back.
[x]I've told someone I loved them when I didn't.
[] I've told someone I didn't love them when I did.
[] I've kept something from a past relationship.

Sexuality
[] I've had a crush on someone of the same sex.
[] I've had a crush on a teacher.
[] I am a cuddler.
[] I've been kissed in the rain.
[x] I've hugged a stranger.
[] I have kissed a stranger.

Honesty/Crime
[x] I've done something I promised someone else I wouldn't.
[x] I've done something I promised myself I wouldn't.
[x] I've snuck out of my house.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[0] I am keeping a secret from the world.
[x] I've cheated while playing a game.
[x] I've cheated on a test.
[] I've run a red light.
[] I've been suspended from school.
[x] I've been in a fist fight.
[] I've been arrested.

Drugs/Alcohol
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[define 'regularly'] I regularly drink.
[] I've passed out from drinking.
[] I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.
[x] I've smoked weed
[x] I've taken painkillers when I didn't need them.
[] I've eaten shrooms.
[] I've popped E.
[] I've inhaled Nitrous.
[eh.. define hard] I've done hard drugs.
[] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem.
[] I have been diagnosed with clinical depression.
[] I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[] I take anti-depressants.
[] I'm anorexic or bulimic.
[x] I've slept an entire day when I didn't need it.
[] I've hurt myself on purpose.
[] I've woken up crying.

Death and Suicide
[x] I'm afraid of dying.
[x] I hate funerals.
[] I've seen someone dying.
[x] Someone close to me has attempted suicide.
[] Someone close to me has committed suicide.
[x - in the sense that I've planned hilarious deaths that would be epic if I were suicidal
] I've planned my own suicide.
[] I've attempted suicide.
[] I've written a eulogy for myself.

Materialism
[] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[x] I own an iPod or MP3 player.
[] I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga.
[] I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece.
[] I own something from Hot Topic.
[] I own something from Pac Sun.
[] I collect comic books.
[] I own something from The Gap.
[x] I own something I got on e-bay.
[] I own something from Abercrombie.

Random
[] I can sing well.
[] I've stolen a tray from a fast food restaurant.
[x] You ask me a question I'm most likely going to answer it.
[x] I watch the news.
[x] I don't kill bugs.
[] I hate hearing songs that sacrifice meaning for the sake of being able to rhyme.
[] I curse regularly.
[x] I sing in the shower
[] I am a morning person.
[] I paid for my cell phone ring tone.
[x] I'm a snob about grammar.
[] I am a sports fanatic.
[x-sometimes] I twirl my hair. (OR at least I used to)
[] I have "x"s in my screen name. (Myspace: xXDeadXx)
[x] I love being neat.
[] I love Spam
[] I've copied more than 30 CD's in a day.
[] I bake well.
[x] My favorite color is either white, yellow, pink, red or blue
[x] I've worn pajamas to school.
[] I like Martha Stewart.
[] I know how to shoot a gun
[x] I am in love with love.
[] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x-only if someone else laughs first] I laugh at my own jokes.
[] I eat fast food weekly.
[] I believe in ghosts.
[x] I am online 24/7, even as an away message.
[x] I've not turned anything in and still got an A in a certain class.
[] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[] I am really ticklish.
[] I love white chocolate.
[x] I bite my nails.
[] I play video games.
[x] I'm good at remembering faces.
[x] I'm good at remembering names.
[] I'm good at remembering dates.
[x] I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.

Put your iTunes/Winamp/WMP on shuffle.
Say the following questions aloud, and press play.
Use the song title as the answer to the question.
NO CHEATING.

1. How does the world see you?
Where do you think you're going in that?

2. Will I have a happy life?
Bad Timing

3. What do my friends think of me?
Snowflake
-that would be nice

4. Do people secretly lust after me?
Local God (LULZ)

5. How can I make myself happy?
Get smashed gate crash.

6. What should I do with my life?
Baby girl
erm..

7. Will I ever have children?
One mistake

8. What is some good advice for me?
How to disappear completely
(GEE THANKS)

9. How will I be remembered?
We used to be friends

10. What's my signature dancing song?
Grind

11. What's my current theme song?
I turn my camera on (BY SPOON)

12. What do others think is my current theme song?
The ace of space

13. What will they play at my funeral?
You talk way too much (GLOLZ)

14. What type of men do I like?
Narcissist

15. How's my love life?
Horrowshow

ARE YOU:
1.) Perfect?
YES! No..

2.) Tall?
Yes

3.) In your pajamas?
Yeah..

4.) Left handed?
Yes

LAST:
1.) Friend you saw:
Harrison/Gabriel

2.) Talked to on the phone
Don't remember

3.) Person to text you:
Lolly or Toby.. don't remember

4.) Was today better than yesterday or the same as any other day?
Same as any other day

FAVORITES:
1.) Number:
3, 7? 5?

2.) Color(s)
blue.. red

3.) Fruit
peaches

4.) Place
Out

QUESTIONS & ANSWERS:
put on clothes

Q: Do you have anything bothering you?
A: yes

Q: What's the last movie you saw ?
A: Snow Cake

Q: Where is the last place you went?
A: school?

Q. Do you smile a lot?
A: mmmmnmm I dunno

Q: Do you wish upon stars?
A: Yes

Q: Are you a friendly person?
A: I'd like to be, but I don't think I am

Q: Where did you sleep last night?
A: In my bed, jerk.

Q: When was the last time you cried?
A: Last night

Q: What was your last thought before going to sleep last night?
A: last day of school tomorrow

Q: Rate life as of right now one being bad ten being great?
A: 2 actually 5 because it's holidays now

Q: What do you hear right now?
A: circa survive

Q: Does anything hurt right now?
A: my arm, I got scratched by the sophie-monster

Q: What's your favorite month?
A: November =D

Q: What did you do last night?
A: Homework, saw my cousins, slept

EIGHT EMOTIONS:
1.) Are you missing someone right now?
OH BABY

2.) Are you happy?
I'm Dopey (LOL GET IT)

3.) Are you sad?
Despondent

4.) Are you bored?
Nnnnot overtly

6.) Are you nervous?
Noope

8.) Are you tired?
A little

ABOUT YOU:
001.) Real name?
Claire Rose

002.) Nicknames?
Clair, Rose. Cle?

003.) Eye color?
Green

004.) Zodiac sign?
Sagittarius

005.) Male or female?
NAH NAH, NAH NAH
DUDE LOOKS LIKE A LADY

009.) Smart?
No

010.) Hair color?
Kinda gingery right now

011.) Tall or short?
Tallish, wasn't this like, question 1?

013.) Sweats or Jeans?
Jeans plz

014.) Phone or Camera?
Camera

016.) Drink or Smoke?
Drink

020.) Tattoos?
3 more years..

021.) Righty or lefty?
REPETITION. Left

FIRSTS:
024.) First best friend?
Eiei

025.) First crush?
Hummmmmm.. "Harvey" I guess

027.) First pet?
Goldfish? Or my dog

028.) First big vacation?
AUS

049.) Eating?
Speckled eggs

050.) Drinking?
Water

052.) I'm about to:
Sneeze

053.) Listening to?
Circa Survive

054.) Plans for today?
WOW there's 3 minutes left of it but yeah, I'll cram some action in!

079.) Drank bubbles?
O.O

080.) Lost glasses/contacts?
It's pretty difficult to lose something you don't have, BETCH

081.) Ran away from home?
Nope. Where would I go?

084.) Broken someone's heart?
NOWAY

085.) Been arrested?
No.

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
090.) Miracles?
Hmmmmm no

089.) Yourself?
lol. I'm pretty sure I exist..

092.) Heaven?
Not really no.

where is 93?

094.) Love?
Yes

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
097.) Do you like someone?
HAHAH yes.

099.) Do you believe in God?
I don't think so..

Look. A fun meme involving iTunes.


How many songs total: 1193
How many hours or days of music: 3.3 days
Most recently played: On letting go
Most played: Saliva
Most recently added: Balloons

Sort by song title:

First Song: 7 Days, 7 Weeks
Last Song: A-Punk

Sort by time:

Shortest Song: Dinner with his family - 0:38
Longest Song: Cocaine - 45:16

Sort by album:

First album: Absolution
Last album: Other than ?, Zeal
First song that comes up on shuffle: Pilgrimage - Nine Inch Nails

Search the following and state how many songs come up:

Death - 12
Life - 3
Love - 39
Hate – 4
You - 140
Sex – 2

what is! and what should never be

1.Grab the book nearest to you, turn to page 18, and find line 4.
...belonging to a union: benefit, value, good / trauma. mishap, misadventure, accident,...

2. Stretch your left arm out as far as you can. What do you touch?
Curtain

3. What is the last thing you watched on TV?
20/20

4. Without looking, guess what time it is:
12:13 am

5. Now look at the clock. What is the actual time?
12:08 am

6. With the exception of the computer, what can you hear?
Typing noises

7. When did you last step outside? What were you doing?
To.. get shopping out from the car

8. Before you started this survey, what did you look at?
deviantart

9. What are you wearing?
Eyore pyjama bottoms, a little red shirt and my big green jumper.

10. Did you dream last night?
Yeah but can't remember now

11. When did you last laugh?
After school at the bus stop. My home is not funny.

12. What are on the walls of the room you are in?
A rug with jesus on it. Some paintings.. some of my photographs, calendar, art, assorted THINGS

13. Seen anything weird lately?
Other than my reflection?

14. What do you think of this quiz?
SLEEEEPYYY

15. What is the last film you saw?
Happy Go Lucky. It sucks

16. If you became a multi-millionaire overnight, what would you buy?
Everything

17. Tell me something about you that I don't know.
I have 6 toes

18. If you could change one thing about the world, regardless of guilt or politics, what would you do?
I'd remove Junho from the face of the planet

19. Do you like to dance?
No

20. George Bush...
Hottt.

21. Imagine your first child is a girl, what do you call her?
Soleil

22. Imagine your first child is a boy, what do you call him?
.. Seth?

23. Would you ever consider living abroad?
YES

24. What do you want God to say to you when you reach the pearly gates?
Damn.. vacation's over

Lewisk said it's good therapy, so I'll do it. Even though I kinda already did.

1. List facts for 10 different people you want to say but will never tell them out loud. (<---you speak good england.)
2. Don't reveal who they are.
3. You can comment but don't answer to guesses. The idea is that no one knows who the facts are indicated to.


1. I like you.

2. I hate you.

3. You make me feel terrible

4. We're too similar.

5. I'm sorry for being so negative about everything

6. I want you to stop using me

7. You're not as pretty as you think you are

8. My hair is REALLY annoying

9. Wish I were you.

10. You're NOT FUNNY
.

NINE things about yourself:
9) I was the youngest person in the world once
8) Junho scratched me and it scarred
7) I really hate my face
6) I really hate the thing my face is connected to
5) I've been loved by all the wrong people
4) I'm mean, and manipulative
3) Some people think I'm actually crazy :P
2) I might be iron deficient!
1) I don't think anyone cares soyeahwhatever


EIGHT ways to win your heart:
8) LISTEN
7) LISTEN
6) LISTEN
5) LISTEN
4) DON'T CARE ABOUT ME
3) PLAY MY GAMES
2) DON'T BE TOO AFFECTIONATE
1) Well I wouldn't know, would I?


SEVEN things that cross your mind a lot:
7) Random paranoid things
6) Tiredness
5) Photos
4) School/Exams/Education in general
3) Friends/people/enemies
2) Words and Writing
1) "I wonder if this expression makes my face look even weirder?"


SIX things you do before you fall asleep :
6) Breathe
5) Blink
4) Swallow
3) Wait
2) Wait
1) Wait


FIVE people who mean a lot at the moment:
5) Jaz
4) Randal
3) ...
2) ...
1) Oh Christ, I hate talking about my life and I have no friends :l


FOUR things you see right now:
4) Computer screen
3) Camera
2) Candy
1) Century

THREE songs that you listen to often at the moment:
3) Hummer
2) Bird Priest
1) Talk Show Host


TWO things you want to do before you die:
1) Nurture
2) Become


ONE confession:
1) I'm a little bit pathetic actually.

LOTS OF WRITING


Going to be a very long journal.


-Would you date someone that was bisexual?
Sure
-Are you more comfortable kissing a boy or a girl?
It's not about COMFORT it's about THRILL
-Ever punched somebody in the face because of someone you loved?
Don't think so
-Are you emotional?
Isn't everyone?
-Ever had your heart broken?
Nnnnnot really no.. Maybe if I cared more
-Did you want to punch someone today?
Yeah
-Do you think long distance relationships can ever last?
Not really
-Have you ever kissed someone and hated it?
Yes
-Is there a friend, boyfriend/girlfriend, or ex that you will never forget?
Yeah
-What do you think of people that do drugs?
Depends what kind of drugs
-What's your relationship status?
Alone. By choice.
-Could you ever forgive a cheater?
I'd like them even more
-Are you wearing something you borrowed from someone?
No
-Last text message says?
"Come on stop being difficult"
-Do you miss anyone?
Yes
-What are you listening to?
Vampire Weekend
-Is anyone on your bad side right now?
Yeah, Junho.
-Will you be in a relationship next month?
Probably not
-Love really is a crazy thing, huh?
No.
-How are you feeling at this exact moment?
Tired, lonely
-Are you someone who worries too often?
AYes
-What are you wearing?
Clothes, happy?
-What are you excited about?
Sleeping all holidays. Study? NTY!
-Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?
No
-Do you have any text messages that you don't want other people to read?
No
-How late did you stay up last night and why?
Ummm only until like 11, because.. well.. you know.. sleep is good?
-Honestly, if you could go back 4 months and change something would you?
YES.
-Is there anyone who doesn't like you?
Oh.. don't get me started
-Do you know what you're wearing tomorrow?
I don't even know what I am doing tomorrow
-Where did you get the shirt you are wearing?
I guess it just appeared in my possessions
-Do you know anyone that smokes weed?
Umm.. no.. not at all.
-How long does it take you to shower?
30 minutes
-What was last thing you drank?
Water
-If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
Friends, out, vibrancy, forgiveness, people
-How has your week been?
SLOW
-Are you slowly drifting away from someone?
I've just done drifting I guess
-Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?
Yes
-Did you ever lose a best friend?
Yes
-What is wrong with you right now?
I feel normal
-Do you want to see somebody right now?
Yeah
-How's your day going so far?
It's been a tiring 31 minutes..
-Name someone you will see tonight:
Myself?
-What made you the angriest today?
You didn't share my cake
-What's the first thing you'll do when you turn 18?
TATTOO PLS
-Do you think the person that you like wants to be with you?
no.
-Where's the last place you went?
Home
-Do you find piercings attractive?
Yeah, in moderation
-When was the last time you saw snow?
Never
-How many people do you truly trust (not family)?
0
-Do you currently have a hickey?
No
-What's for dinner?
Nothing..
-Are you gonna get high later?
At some point in the not too distant future I hope
-Who was the last person you sat next to?
Gabby
-Do you trust all of your friends?
No
-Who would you do anything for?
.. No one
-Why is your relationship status the way it is?
Because I am a tool
-How long is your hair?
Shoulderish length
-What colour are your eyes?
Green
-Who do you dislike currently?
UGH
-Do you tend to rip the paper off water bottle?
YAH BECUZ IM SECKSHLY FRUSTRAYTID
-Do you have any cousins?
10 or 11.. Eh..I'm getting another one soon
-Who was the last person you talked to?
Fazzur
-Where do you plan on living when you grow up?
Germany
-Ever been in a violent relationship?
Yes, technically :)
-Is someone on your mind right now?
Yes, several people
-Who was the last person you revealed a secret to? When?
Umm don't remember.. I don't do a great deal of sharing anymore
-Do you have a best friend?
2, I supposed
-Who is making you the happiest right now?
Emm.. wah
-Have you ever wagged to go to the beach on a hot day?
I WISH
-Who is the most important-est person in your life?
THE MOST IMPORTANTEST? Whoever is marking my cambridge exams
-Do you think you will be with the person you are with now in 10 years time?
Yes. Since I am with no one.
-Ever had a fight with someone real close to you?
Why would I bother fighting with people I'm not close with?
-Are you a complicated person?
 No, not in my opinion
-What colour is your toothbrush?
Pink and white and green and blue
-Do you like ice cream?
Not really.. it's been failing me recently
-Have you ever given up on someone?
Emmmm don't think so
-What's bothering you right now?
Itchy bites
-Do you have your baby picture in your room?
Yeah
-When you say you don't care, do you mean it?
Yes. Definitely. VERY VERY DEFINITELY.

1. Are you currently in a relationship?
Nope

2. Have you ever been given a rose?
Yeeaaah

3. What is your all-time favorite romance movie?
Ummmmmmmmm... Does.. no.. I dunno

4. Have you ever been in love?
No

5. Do u believe that everyone has a soul-mate?
Nope

6. Whats your current problem?
Not enough time

7. Have you ever had your heart broken?
Nope

8.Your thoughts of online or long distance relationships.
Nope

9.Have you ever seen a friend as more than a friend?
Yes

10.Do you believe the statement, "Once a cheater always a cheater"?
Maybe, but I don't care

11.How many kids do you want to have?
1 or 2, if any.

12.What is/are your favorite color(s)?
Red/Blue

13. Do you believe you truly only love once.
Maybe no.

14. have you ever found it hard to tell some one you like them, scared it will ruin your frendship?
Yeah.

15.Imagine you're 40 & your spouse just died, would you get re-married?
Why not?

16. At what age did you start noticing the opposite sex?
I don't remember

17.What song do you want played at your wedding?
anything but aerosmith

18. Do you like anyone?
Yeah

19. how many ex's do you have?
Not too many

20. What is your longest relationship?
PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT

GOODNIGHT!

Love means all the little birdies in the world singing outside MY window at ungodly hours, love means hours on the phone with a girl who spends the whole time trying to avoid using the L word, love means a kitty cat purring in my ear and clogging my nose with tickly furr, love means hugging your friends because you care - and not just because they're your friend, love means sleazy text messages that start with 6 lame excuses and end in "but I'm in love with you", love means chasing you down the street to call you a cab so that you don't wind up in a gutter with your face and hands chopped off, love means taking that bottle of "water" out of your hands before you get too "hydrated", love means reading your poetry even though it's a sickly sweet cliche mess and still highly praising it, love means taking your picture 50 times in one pose and telling you not to move, love means making me promises to let your hair down more often and not breaking them, love means telling me every time you graze your hands, love means still crying when we fight because you didn't want to wear "those shoes" despite claiming you couldn't care less, love means not turning around when I yell nasty names at you as you're walking away, love means painting me a picture that says "I wish I was gay", love means writing you disgusting girlie love-notes but being too shy to give them to you, love means dancing to a song "only at the good bits", love means sharing our baby pictures and laughing even though we promised eachother not to, love means me not helping you put pictures on your walls after you help me put pictures up on mine, love means grabbing me in the chest and not expecting to have your hands slapped away, love means you lifting up my shirt behind the garage because I wouldn't - and me not stuggling, love means you taking your jeans off when we were alone in the dark together to show me the scars you got when you were little, love means reminding me to eat breakfast every morning so I have the energy to beat you up during the day, love means letting you punch me and then whimpering when I raise my fist back at you, love means pocketing butterscotch liquer and saving it for later tonight when we're alone, love means actually telling me I have ice cream on my nose when I meet you at the bus-stop in my pyjamas, love means saying "you!" when I say "who do you love?" right before we hang up, love means saying "I have none left!" when I ask you to tell me a secret, love means asking me to call in ten minutes and then have your mum tell me you're in the shower when I ring, love means telling me you're addicted to cocaine and bringing a bag of icing sugar to school for extra effect, love means then offering the icing sugar to third formers and shadily saying "wanna buy some, kid?", love means going to a party and offering beer to someone's 7 year old and calling them a wuss when they decline, love means begging me to tell you about my problems so that you feel better about yours, love means blackmailing eachother with secrets, love means being number 6 -

 

love is all you need.